chemo

Julie went for another session of chemo to day she is very tired and sore all over she had the dry heaves befor we left for the hospital she is tired all the time and not eating she has no apetite she has not eaten in 4 days the session went well i have her home now and she is starting to shake but these are the side effects and the vomiting i will keep you all up to date.

Tough Times

It has been a long few weeks waiting for my Chemo to start but i finally met with my Dr. and had a long talk and set up my date.I begged the doctors to start me after christmas so i can enjoy my family as Phil and Amy and my nieces will be here.I have an appiontment on the 23rd of December for a PICC LINE This is an IV that will go in my arm over my shoulder and to my heart.The IV will stay in for 4 weeks and the Chemo will be injected into the IV.I will go for Chemo every Wed Thurs Fri Sat Sun.It will take about 3hrs each day.On Mondays i have blood work and Tuesday is my day off.This will be for the first 4 weeks and then another change.The PICC LINE will be taken out after the 4 weeks and i will be giving myself injections at home.The doctors will also be teaching James how to give the needles.I am glad i will be able to do this at home as i will not be up to leaving the house.As i am sharing this with you i feel terrified of what is ahead for myself and my family,I had to make a hard decision yesturday but i believe it was the right one.
My Dr. told me that the type of Chemo i am going on is different than other types,it is much stronger and the syptoms are very hard on the body.He also told me that 55% of patients on this Chemo quit after 5-6 weeks.I was told that i will be extremely sick for the full year,as the treatment goes on the symtoms get worse.
I was also told that my chances of the Cancer coming back are 80%.It has been a a tuff couple of days to say the least.I plan on being strong and not quiting my treatmeant even though at this very moment i am full of fear,confusion,and sadness.
Thank you to everyone who sent meals and for thinkng about my family.Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers as things right now are really tuff.

The good outweighed the bad.

Lets get the bad out of the way.Surgery took 3hrs and when i woke up in recovery my blood pressure and heart rate dropped.It took almost 3 hrs to get them stable.James was having a fit because they refused to let him in to see me for the time i was in recovery until i was stable. Longest 3hrs for him it was very scarey for James.I did not feel alot of pain for the 2 days in the hospital because i was so drugged up.I got home Wed and stayed in bed till Sat popping pain pills every 3hrs.I am spending alot more time on the sofa the past 2 days and it feels great.I am slowly starting to take less meds.My top layer of stiches come out on Wed @ 130.
Now for the good stuff :))
I was laying in bed on thursday and much to my suprise in walked my son and daughter in law.I was sooo thrilled to see them they were such a big help around the house and perfect company.I may have been drugged up but i will never forget waking up from a nap and seeing both my kids sitting on my bed.I felt totally blessed.
Another big day for me was Sat as my brother was flying home to spend 4 days with me.It was really great to just hang out and spend time together.We didnt do anything special except sit and visit which really meant more to me than anything.
Thank you James for caring so much and for taking such good care of me.Thank you Stu and Laura for your gift and meal we love you guys.Thank you Tom and Kathy for your gift what a huge blessing.Thank you Alice for your card and gift i sure miss you.
Thank you Amy for working things out for Phil to come back.Thank you Mom for visiting with me.Thank you Ash for helping me with everything,you have been such a big help to me.Thank you Alexis and Brent for being @ the hospital to see me and for the meal.Thank you Tammie-lee and Doug for the visit and the meals.Thank you to everyone who sent meals and cards my family feels so loved and cared for.
I will give an update on when i start my Chemo.

Blessed

I went for some test results today from my neck and got more great news.My lymph Nodes are not highlighting and they are not growing so they are going to hold off on the surgery on my neck and scan my neck every month to make sure they are not growing.If the up coming scans show that the Lymph Nodes are growing then they willl do the surgery.This is great news!
I go to the Cancer Clinic @ 10 30 tomorrow morning for my arm surgery @ noon.I willl be put under and will be spending the night in the hospital.
My surgeon explaind to me today that i will be loosing a large portion of my arm and i will be in alot of pain.What my arm looks like after is not important to me,i know things for me could of been alot worse and i feel blessed.As for the pain i asked for really good drugs :))
I have an appointment with my Chemo doctor on Wed the 16th of Nov so they can explain to me what is ahead for me.I do know that the Chemo will make me quite sick and very weak but they will be trying different meds on me to make the 15months as comfortable as possible.I will update my blog when i get home and am feeling better.
Thank you Mom for the cookies.Thank you to everyone who signed up yo bring a meal.Thank you Faith Academy for praying for me and James and Ashleigh.Thank you FB friends for all the sweet messages.Thank you Steven for always phoning.Thank you Ashleigh for your text messages even though you are in class :)

Good News

My doctor phoned me @ home last night to let me know that the results of my PET Scan came back showing highlighted spots only in my neck.Finally some good news.I was so worried that the cancer had spread to other parts of my body.So happy that is one less thing i have to worry about.I still have to have the surgery on my neck and arm one week from today and then the 15months of Chemo.
My appiontment yesturday for the Tracer Test really sucked.The first thing the doctor says to me was "julie this is going to hurt" and he was right.I said words i told my kids never to say.During the pain i was thinking that i have to be strong because the hard part is yet to come.I have been looking @  wigs and head scarfs as the doctors want me to be prepared incase my hair does start to fall out.Little things like looking for a wig makes me face reallity but it also gives me a sick feeling.
Thank you James for putting up with all my crazy emotions and showing me constent love.Thank you Ashleigh for all the work you have been doing around the house.Thank you PhilAmy,Emma Abby for the really cute card.Thank you Mom for phoning me just to show you are thinking of me and showing me how much you care.Thank you Alexis for coming with me(again) to my appointment and making me laugh.Thank you Tammy & Matt for Friday night it was fun.

Facing Reality

Well i am now finished work and i have a very  insecure feeling about not making money.I know this should be the least of my worries but it is hard not to think about. I am looking forward to sleeping @ home and relaxing during the day.
I had my PET Scan today and all went well.I think the hardest part was i was completly tied down and i had an itch on my cheek i couldnt scratch.lol. I have another test @ the Cancer Clinic on Monday the 31st of October @ 9am.This test is called a tracer.I will have an IV inject dye into my arm that will go to my neck to the infected Lymph Nodes.The dye will show the doctor the path he needs to take during surgery to remove the Lymph Nodes.
I will get the results from todays scan on the 7th of Nov. My surgery date has been moved from the 15th of Nov to the 8th of Nov.
I am slowly letting this all sink in and starting to face reality.I have been blocking it out of my mind but everyday it is getting harder for me, i am trying to accept that this will be my life for a while.
Thank you Mom & Donna for being with me today,Thank you BFM thrift Store for your wonderful gift.Thank you Tiffany & Mani for the resturant gift card.Thank you Amy for setting up a meal plan.
Thank you Steven for calling me almost every day to check up on me I love you so much!!!Thank you Lorna for taking me out and spoiling me rotten.
I need to tell you about my best friend Alexis Giles.Alexis & i have been best friends for 16yrs and the past month we have been closer than ever.Alexis is hurting so much for me and it breaks my heart to see her sad and worried.We have shed many tears together over the past month and i dont know what i would do without her in my life.

Waiting

The waiting for me is the hardest part.It is so hard not to let my mind wounder.I have been trying to keep myself busy but the thought of what is a head for me is always in the  back of my mind.I got my surgery date yesturday it is on the 15th of November the same day my brother Phil goes home.I wish he could be here but on the same hand i am glad he will not see me in pain.
This week has been not so bad as it has been the first week in 4 weeks that i have not  had 3 or 4 appiontments @ the Cancer Clinic.When i am home it is alot easier for me to block out what is going on but as soon as i walk into the Cancer Clinic things become very real.When the doctors are talking to James and myself i find myself thinking i cant believe they are talking about me.At my last appiontment i was sitting in the waiting room feeling sorry for myself when a young lady walked in with no hair and looked very sick,all of a sudden my pitty trip ended i felt so bad for her.
I am so concerned about my husband as this has not just changed my life but it has changed his to.He has been very quiet lately as i know he is going threw alot of the emotions that i have.James has been such a great support taking me to my appiontments,calling me from work every day to encourage me,and the best part he has been cleaning the house with me asking.lol Bless his heart.
On a happy and thankful note my Mom called to tell me a friend of hers had cooked us a few meals to put in the freezer and what a great feeling it was to know there are some home cooked meals in the freezer for James and Ashleigh.
Thank you mom and Donna for the Sobeys card, thank you Doug for the funny text that put a smile on my face,Thank you Tammy for your daily phone calls,Thank you Vera for talking to me about starting a blog.I am also thankful for all the encouraging comments on FB and on my blog.

The C word.

I decided to start a Blog as many people are concernd about my family and i.I have been getting alot of phone calls from friends who have questions and concerns.I dont always feel like talking these days (believe it or not) so this is my way of sharing with friends how i am doing.                      
I went to my family doctor 4 weeks ago with a lump on my arm,he sent me to a skin doctor who booked me for surgery 4 days later to have the lump removed.About 8 days affter surgery i recieved a call from my doctor to tell me i needed to come into his office with James right away.I convinced my doctor to tell me on the phone what the results were of the surgery and i wish i had of waited to hear it in his office.I will never forget the words "Julie you have Cancer and we need to see you right away".From that momnent till this day i have  a sick feeling in my stomach.My doctor explained to James and i that i have Melanoma the fastest speading Cancer and i need to be treated at the Cancer Clinic.I have had 2 scans one which showed acctive Lymph Nodes in my neck.I have another Scan called A Pet Scan on the 27th which will show the doctors if the Cancer has travelled any futher.After the scan i will be getting surgery on my neck to remove the infected Lymph Nodes and at the same time they will be operatingon my arm again as there is still some Cancer in my good cells. Once the surgerys are done i will be starting Chemo for 15months.
I have been trying to keep in good spirits but some days are better than others.My main concerns are for strenth while i am on treatment i hate the thought of being stuck in bed.I am also thinking of James as i will not be working and this puts alot of pressure on James please pray for him.I have been cooking some meals and putting them in my freezer so that James and Ashleigh are not eating KD every night( i knew i should of taught James how to cook)lol.
I will update my blog when i know more news and @ times James will update the blog also.