Waiting

The waiting for me is the hardest part.It is so hard not to let my mind wounder.I have been trying to keep myself busy but the thought of what is a head for me is always in the  back of my mind.I got my surgery date yesturday it is on the 15th of November the same day my brother Phil goes home.I wish he could be here but on the same hand i am glad he will not see me in pain.
This week has been not so bad as it has been the first week in 4 weeks that i have not  had 3 or 4 appiontments @ the Cancer Clinic.When i am home it is alot easier for me to block out what is going on but as soon as i walk into the Cancer Clinic things become very real.When the doctors are talking to James and myself i find myself thinking i cant believe they are talking about me.At my last appiontment i was sitting in the waiting room feeling sorry for myself when a young lady walked in with no hair and looked very sick,all of a sudden my pitty trip ended i felt so bad for her.
I am so concerned about my husband as this has not just changed my life but it has changed his to.He has been very quiet lately as i know he is going threw alot of the emotions that i have.James has been such a great support taking me to my appiontments,calling me from work every day to encourage me,and the best part he has been cleaning the house with me asking.lol Bless his heart.
On a happy and thankful note my Mom called to tell me a friend of hers had cooked us a few meals to put in the freezer and what a great feeling it was to know there are some home cooked meals in the freezer for James and Ashleigh.
Thank you mom and Donna for the Sobeys card, thank you Doug for the funny text that put a smile on my face,Thank you Tammy for your daily phone calls,Thank you Vera for talking to me about starting a blog.I am also thankful for all the encouraging comments on FB and on my blog.